|
CAR PRANKS
|
 |
|
Over 300,000 posters
Pranks - Jokes - Gags - Humor - funny jokes
10,000 JOKES
CONTENTS
A-L
CONTENTS
L-Z
The doctor said, "Joe, the good
news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is
that it will require castration. You have a very
rare condition, which causes your testicles to press
on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of
a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is
to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had
anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long
enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but
to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital he was without a headache
for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he
was missing an important part of himself. As he
walked down the street, he realized that he felt
like a different person. He could make a new
beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's
clothing store & thought, "That's what I need - a
new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like
a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and
said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed,
"That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the
business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit
perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman
asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a
moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe
and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck."
Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you
know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe
adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman
asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and
said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said,
"Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's
right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60
years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe
walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman
asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought
for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped
back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size
36."
Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34
since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his
head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear
would press your testicles up against the base of
your spine and give you one hell of a headache. |
|
|
DVD COPY
TEXAS HOLDEM POKER FREE OR REAL MONEY
Partypoker
Earn real money. Real quick. Low stakes high rewards. At
PartyPoker.com
we run tournaments around the clock,
paying out the biggest online prize pools every month.
Starts with 1,500 chips and you can register up to five
minutes before the tournament starts
 |
DREAM HOST WEB HOSTING
BAR JOKE
A drunk orders himself a
beer
A man walks into the front
door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the
bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the
bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that
he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served
additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for
him.
The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles,
climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front
door.
A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side
door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a
drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but
more firmly refuses service to the man due to his
inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for
him.
The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily,
curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while
grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the
back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool,
gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man
that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and
either a cab or the police will be called immediately.
The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless
anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at? |
|
