A young woman was having a
physical examination and was very embarrassed
because of a weight problem. As she removed her last
bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed,
Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The
physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't
feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The
doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face
and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and
say moo."
A handsome young lad went into
the hospital for some minor surgery, and the day
after the procedure a friend stopped by to see how
the guy was doing. His friend was amazed at the
number of nurses who entered the room in short
intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his
pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all
the attention?" the friend asked, "You look fine to
me."
"I know!" grinned the patient. "But the nurses kind
of formed a little fan club when they all heard that
my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches."
Charlie marries a virgin. On
their wedding night, he's on fire, so he gets naked,
jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her.
"Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as
you are at the dinner table." So, Charlie folds his
hands on his lap and says, "Is this better?" "Much
better!" she replies with a smile. "Okay, then," he
says, "now will you please pass the pussy."
A farmer was driving along the
road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy,
playing in front of his house, saw him and called,
"What've you got in your truck?"
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you
going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You
ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We
put sugar and cream on ours."
A doctor was having an affair
with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she
was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave
the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to
Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let
you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied,
"Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on
the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing
what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew
to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's
wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear,
you received a very strange postcard in the mail
today from Europe, and I don't understand what it
means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home
and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the
postcard, fell to the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead
medic stayed back to comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac
arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read,
"'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two
with sausage and meatballs, two without.'" |
