She married and had 13 children.
Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more
children. Again, Her husband died. But, she
remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas,
she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for
her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman
and said, “Lord, they’re finally together.”
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her
friend, “Do you think he means her first, second or
third husband?” The friend replied, “I think he
means her legs.”
One Night After Watching Who
Wants To Be A Millionaire... A man and his wife went
to bed and the man was getting very frisky. He asked
his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered,
"Not tonight dear, I have a headache." The man
replied, "Is that your final answer?" She said
"Yes." "OK, then I'd like to phone a friend." he
replied.
There was this geriatric woman
who thought she needed some toughening to cope with
today's world, and decided to join a gang. She
rocked up to the Hell's Angels bikers club and
tapped on the door. "Excuse me, sirs, I'd like to
join your club if you please" she croaked in her
feeble voice. A grunt came from inside, "Ha! You got
no chance, woman. We only take the toughest into our
club. You can only join if you drink!". "Oh boy, do
I drink! I slam a few down every night after playing
pool with the boys" she croaked back. "Oh, umm,
well... you can only join if you smoke" he lied,
trying to brush her off. "Does marijuana count? Coz
I don't mind a few joints after playing pool with
the boys". "Umm, I suppose it does count..." the
biker said, and, thinking quick on his feet said
"Look, we're a gang only for the roughest, toughest
men in town. Now, have you ever been picked up by
the fuzz?"
"No," she replied, "but I've been swung around by
the tits a few times". |
