A man went to pick up his date but he
was having some trouble with his flatulence system, in
other words he couldn't stop farting so when he had to
wait for the young woman to get ready for the date he
sat on the lounge and let out just a little fart when
the dog hopped onto the couch with him. He figured that
the parents would think it was the dog. Every time he
farted the young girl's parents told the dog to get off
the couch and so the man kept going, finally he let rip
and the parents finally told the dog to get off the
couch before the man shit on him!
A man goes to a shrink and says,
"Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she
goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She
sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What
do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor,
"take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly
where is Larry's bar?"
The couple had been married for
twenty years. It was a happy, wonderful marriage, except
that the wife was very unfaithful. The husband finally
got so tired of her unfaithfulness that he made her
promise to never again be untrue to him. One day he came
home and found her in bed with a midget. He cried out,
"My wife, my love, after you made all those promises, I
find you in bed with another man, and a midget at that!"
She replied, "My dearest husband, the love of my life,
do you not believe me, do you not see, do you not
understand? I am tapering off."
Two men are sitting in the
doctor's office. The one looks at the other one and
says, "What are you here for?" The man replied "I have a
red ring around my pecker, What are you here for?" The
other man said, "I have a green ring around my pecker."
The doctor called the man with the red ring first in his
office and examined him. As he was walking out he told
the other guy it was no problem. The doctor called the
man in with the green ring around his pecker and
examined him. The doctor says, "Your pecker is gonna
fall off and you are gonna die". The mans says, "What??
You told the man with the red ring he was ok, but I'm
gonna die??" The doctor said, "Yes but there's a lot of
difference lipstick and gangrene!" |
