Q: What do blondes and turtles have in common?
A: When they are on their backs they are screwed.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: The mosquito stops sucking after you smack it. Submitted by:
Joshuah Rogers
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine
(note from Zelo: for you REAL blondes out there that is the machine
that makes ice in the ice-skating rinks!).
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A1: She'd just dyed her hair.
A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown
around too much.
Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird
flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was
directly over her. The blonde says,
1. "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in
the face!!!"
2. "Good thing that cows don't fly."
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a
redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the
mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced,
"I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and
got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she
was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made
it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay
here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot
more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before
she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so
she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think
I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles,
15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in
sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.
She told me she didn't know how to cook them.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette
says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it. Submitted by: Justine Boulin
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down
and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and
says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those
are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour
later they were both killed by a train.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted. Submitted by: Bob Lanier
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747
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